愛猫をしゃべらせよう

すべての猫スクリプト

Happy Birthday, human. I got you a gift — my presence. You're welcome. Now where's my treat?

I'm... sorry. There, I said it. Don't expect me to say it again. Can we move on now? Please?

The house is too quiet without you. I've been staring at the door. Not that I miss you or anything. Just... come home.

Congratulations. I suppose you did well. I always knew you had potential. Not as much as me, but still — well done.

I heard you're sick. That's unfortunate. I'll allow you to rest on MY couch. Get better soon, human.

Good luck, I guess. Not that you need luck when you have MY support. You've got this. Probably.

Another year older, another year wiser — well, one of those is true. I'm gracing you with a birthday message. This is your gift. It's priceless, like me.

Fine. FINE. I was wrong. Are you happy now? I'm a cat admitting fault — this is historic. Document this moment. It won't happen again.

I've been sitting in your spot. Not because I miss your warmth or anything. It's just... strategically located. When are you coming back? Asking for a friend.

Look at you, achieving things like some kind of overachiever. I'm impressed — and I don't say that lightly. I barely acknowledge most humans exist. You're special.

You call that a haircut? I've coughed up better looking things. Just kidding. Kind of. I still love you though. Don't tell anyone I said that.

I'm not saying I was wrong — I'm saying I understand why YOU might think that. Can we move past this? I have napping to do and this guilt is exhausting.